SimplyMel

…I haven’t wrote in this for so long…but I actually wrote this on thanksgiving and I wanted to put it up…

Written on November 24, 2011:

Sometimes, we often complain what we don’t have and never see what we do have and therefore we forget to be thankful for them.

Not so long ago, a broken heart had me wishing my heart would stop beating, because maybe in that case, it’d be so much more simple to stop breathing than to fight everyday living with the hurt and pain that I was feeling.

I’ve concentrated so long on one person—on how he abandoned me when I needed him the most, hurt me at my weakest moment, and questioned how someone who I had given everything to including my life, heart and soul to for 4 years can cause me so much pain. I’ve focused so much on feeling how I couldn’t live without him that I failed to see all of my blessings.

My friends and family—who never gave up on me even though I was in the edge of giving up on myself. Even co workers—who never saw less of me even when I felt I was half the person I use to be..And above all, my daughter—who held on through it all and saved me in so many ways.

Because of those people, I lived again. I learned to smile. I learned to laugh—and I learned to breathe again & I will be forever thankful, forever grateful that they’re in my life.

I once read a question, “What is the biggest regret of your life?” It was followed by, “..and if you have a second chance, what would you change?”

He lied to me. Betrayed me. Led me on. Hurt me. Made me look stupid. Took my heart. Dismantled it. Crushed it. Stepped on it, and if that wasn’t enough, killed it. He emotionally killed me. Took the whole me & broke me.

Yet despite every pain & heartache, I have NO regrets. Maybe I loved the wrong person or maybe it was just the wrong time. But one thing is for sure, I loved him for the right reason and I know my heart was in the right place. See, sometimes when you love someone so much, it can take a lot of you. Actually, it can take the whole you. And when you give your all: heart mind & soul, you don’t think of anything else—who you hurt, or let alone even distinguish what’s right from wrong anymore. And even though this love gave me twice the pain than it gave me happiness, my heart had all the right intention in loving him as much as I loved him. And even if the love he made me feel were true or not, I don’t regret loving him, because I know for sure, I loved him truthfully with all of my heart and all of me!

If I have a second chance, what would I change? Nothing. I don’t want to think about what could’ve, what would’ve or what should’ve. Indeed, I lost a lot of me loving him and he nearly took my life when he left me and chose otherwise. But the life…The LIFE he created with me is the best and the most amazing thing that happened to me, my daughter, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

Things happens for a reason. You live. You learn & you grow. “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”